Strength

I know I know... It has been over two months since I posted last... yikes!
I really don't know where to begin...
My summer was absolutely amazing... but not the kind where I spent my days at Hershey Park, lounging by the pool, or taking road trips.
This summer was the most crazy, stressful, educating, stretching, heart-breaking, exciting, interesting, and most of all fast, summer I have ever had.
My last post told you about what I did at my job this summer and I really have nothing else to report because well... my job was pretty much all I could handle this summer!
Although I was completely exhausted both physically and emotionally, God taught me SO MUCH... so much more than I can really sit here and write about.
So I have shortened my whole summer's learning into one word: Strength.
I had absolutely NO strength to get through this job. I had little experience and no degree... and I was afraid of the little 6-8 year old hearts and minds that were wide open in front of me.
But God... HE has strength.
I learned that my abilities and talents were God's to use. I learned that my weaknesses disappear if I let God take control.
For example... I am not patient. But let me just tell you... the second I started feeling impatient I would stop and breath and talk to God. And the next instant I was saying something so compassionate and loving to the small child who just threw a chair at me. THAT IS GOD.
This summer a particular song and verse really spoke to me. The song is called Our God by Chris Tomlin and this is a part of it:
"Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?"
When I was younger, I was terrified of "robbers" that were going to come in and steal my sister or my favorite bear. My mom taught me to quote Psalm 27:1
"The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?"
God is all the strength that I needed to get through this summer and I thank Him so eternally much for helping me to grow, learn, and mature this summer.
Now on to classes...

Spare time is Sparce

Wow... when I first made this blog I had to hold myself back from updating it everyday. Now it seems as though I have NO time AT ALL to even think about blogging!! Such a shame...

Anyways... I thought I would update all of you on my new job since that is all I have time for right now.

For those of you who don't know... I am working at Philhaven (a mental health hospital here in Lancaster) at there summer program called STAP. I am "stationed" in York where we are working out of a church. We work with kids ages 7-14 with mostly behavioral issues... some controllable and some... not so much.

I am one of 7 counselors who run the camp and we also have the help of our camp manager, coordinator, therapist, nurse, and secretary. Each counselor has a partner (except one very capable male counselor since there is an odd number). We all split the kids up into groups of about 10. There is one group for the older kids, 2 groups for the middle aged kids, and one group for the younger kids.

If you know me at all... I would MUCH rather work with the older kids. Unfortunately, the more experienced counselors got to work with the older kids and so I am now in charge of 10, 7-8 year olds. YIKES!!!!

I am working with another counselor who I really like. We are each individually in charge of 5 of the "little kids." These 5 youngsters refer to me as their primary counselor or more informally: Miss Kelly. They are the most precious things I have ever seen and it breaks my heart to read their charts and read through everything their little 7 and 8 year old hearts and minds have had to endure so early on in their lives.

The therapist has come up with 3 goals that she wants each kid to work on this summer and as their primary counselor it is my job to see that they reach those goals. STAP is very relaxed and I can pretty much use my best judgement when picking what groups I want to run and what therapeutic interventions I want to try. It is truly one of the best experiences I have ever had the privilege of being a part of... plus I get paid!!!

However, the job does come with it's cons... Every morning I have to make the 50 minute drive to York where I have to personally pick up 4 of the "campers." Throughout the day I have to make use that everyone is behaving, fill out progress notes, and make parent phone calls when necessary. At the end of the day I have to drive the kids back home and start the long trek back to Lancaster.

God has such a sense of humor... I am working with little kids... AGAIN. I said I never wanted to work with them again... that just shows how I have no control over my life and how God has all of it.

Not only is this job physically draining... it is even more emotionally draining. Everyday my heart breaks all over for these kids. I have little experience and feel completely inadequate for this job... and in all seriousness... I am. Everyday on my long drive home I ask God to please work through me because only He knows why I am working here this summer and only He knows the best way to reach out to these kids.

To end this post I am going to share a few verses that have made a huge impact on this chapter in my life:

Matthew 11:28-30

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light"

2 Corinthians 9:8

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

Isaiah 41:10

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strenghten you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

I'm a Warrior

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I have had to say goodbye to many of my friends for a whole summer of serving the Lord. I started to wonder if I should feel bad about not going across the country or over-seas this summer, giving up time and money.

Within these past couple of weeks, I keep telling my friends that I will be praying for them as they serve. And I do... faithfully...

So I finally realized: maybe God has me home this summer to teach me something very important...

How to be a prayer warrior

I began to really dig into the Word, looking for scripture to show me exactly how God expects me to pray for my dear friends.

I came upon a very familiar verse:

James 5:16

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

So my prayer to my friends serving God is found in

Ephesians 1:17-18:

"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,"

I miss you all and pray for you daily.

Taylor Dooley: On-Goal Soccer Camp
Grant Lockard: LBC representative at camps

Drew Law: Intern in Gabon, Africa

Bethany Holler: Intern in Gabon, Africa

Nathan Burchill: Intern in Gabon, Africa (sorry Nathan... I had to! This picture defines you!)

Olivia Shaffer: LBC team in South Africa

Evelyn, Joanne, and Angela Stauffer: LBC team in South Africa

It finally feels like summer...

Two weeks ago I had the pleasure of packing all of my belongings up and moving them ten minutes away, back to my house. Without the help of my strapping boyfriend, this was an unpleasant task. To add to the fun, I had to say goodbye to my wonderful friends who I had grown accustom to seeing everyday:

After I had completed all of my end-of-the-semester-projects and 4 finals, I did not get the enjoyment of screaming "I'm done!" or "So glad it's summer!" Nope... I got one weekend to complete several pre-class assignments for what... A SUMMER COURSE! Blah... I had sworn that I would never do that to myself. And yet... there I was from 8:30-4 for a whole week learning how to counsel those who are addicted. (As much fun as I'm having complaining about my summer so far... it really was a good course! I learned a lot!) I now have a 10-15 page paper and a 5-6 page reading report due by July 15th.

After completing my class, I still did not feel freedom or joy because I had to say goodbye to three very special people for the whole summer! Drew (tan coat), Bethany (brown coat), and Nathan (bright purple jacket) are all spending the summer as interns in Gabon, Africa. I have a very tight-knit group who spends our summers together and this summer will just not be the same without them!! We're already bored! Needless to say... I am so very proud of them and extremely excited to see what God will do with their hearts and their lives as they serve Him.

I know, I know... that was a whole post of complaining! I say all of this to get it all out of my system so that I can finally get over it and have a good summer! Today is the first day in a very long time that I have off of work and I am in my swimsuit and ready to get in the pool!

So today I say: I'M FREE! IT'S SUMMER!

Although I will be working 3 jobs and finishing up papers... there are some things that I have to look forward to: vacation with the family in July, spending time with the really awesome friends that did NOT leave me for 3 months, and enjoying the company of someone I am a pretty big fan of:

Happy Summer Everyone!!

An Unlikely Experience

Last night I experienced something that I have never really had in my life: I had a full debate with a non-Christian. (dun dun dun!!)

I have practiced these debates and have been taught what to do and what to say in rebuttal to popular questions/arguments. I have also had miniature debates over specific things about my faith. However, nothing in my Christian up-bringing or training at Lancaster Bible College could ever prepare me for the actual experience. I actually can't believe that it has taken this long for me to get into a heated discussion with a non-Christan. I suppose God was holding that off until He thought I was ready.

Before last night, I dreaded the thought of having to defend my faith. That sounds horrible but it's true. It's not that I don't love God with all of my heart and know what I believe. It's not that I am ashamed of what I believe. It's not that I don't have all the right tools and enough training. It's simply because confrontation is not something that I look for. I don't like feeling like I don't know what I'm talking about or looking like a complete fool in front of others.

This morning when I woke up I realized how completely selfish that mindset is! It honestly isn't about how I feel in that moment when I decide to defend what I believe and the God that I love. It is about showing others that there is a God who can fill those voids and heal those wounds that they are hurting from.

It was so very sad to hear this individual talk about how they are "a really good person" and that they "go to church a lot." They really believed that God was basing how He loved them love by how much they did for Him. My heart just feels so heavy for them! If only they knew that God loves them despite their sin and that there is absolutely nothing they can do to gain God's love... He has already given it to us through Jesus... and there is so much benefit waiting for them.

After this individual was done speaking my heart was pounding... I knew I had to say something!!! At first I was feeling a lot like this guy: tongue tied!!!
But after a few moments of catching my breath, I gained the courage to open my mouth and speak what I knew to be true. Thankfully, there were others in the room and I had plenty of help finding the right words to say. We spent the next half an hour listening to their heart and handing our hearts right back to this individual. And you know what? We left the night not angry at each other (which was my fear) but with a respect for each other.

Thank you God for this experience and for your love that I know so well. Please bring more of these opportunities my way...

Inspiration

I have been wanting to create a blog for a very long time. This week I watched 3 of my very good friends hop on a plane and fly to Gabon, Africa for a 3 month internship. They have all created blogs so we could keep track of them and to hear about what God is doing. So... I decided it was finally time for me to create my own blog so that others can read what God is doing in my life as well. Although I am not going to be oversees this summer, God is still working in my life and I want other people to know. God calls us to public recognition of what He is doing in our lives and that is exactly what I want to do.

It's pretty simple: I am a 20-year-old college student and I love Jesus with all of my heart. I go to Lancaster Bible College where I am studying to be a professional mental health counselor. I absolutely love being able to go to class everyday and learning more about the God who has created the human mind; a God who can redeem even the most hurting and dysfunctional person. I am using my education and my heart for the hurting this summer by working at a summer camp run by Philhaven (a mental health hospital). I am so very excited but so very nervous... I do not have very much experience!

Before ending this post... I thought I should explain my blog title: Lilies and Sparrows. It comes from one of my favorite passages from the Bible:

Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour of his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I have an amazing God and I want to share Him with others. So enjoy my blog!! Thanks for reading!!

Kelly